


5 + 1

by sarufish



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship
Genre: Five Times, M/M, rygabe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 22:46:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2445935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarufish/pseuds/sarufish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Gabe told Ryland he loved him and one time Ryland said it back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 + 1

1.

The first time it happened Gabe was a little tipsy. That's how it always went. Gabe was an affectionate drunk, always pawing at someone, leaning on them with his face a little too close to be normal. It was the night after one of their first big shows, a sold out venue. They were getting noticed and it finally felt like they were doing it right. Everything was coming up for them, so they were celebrating the best way they knew how; by getting wasted. Their tour bus was pretty cramped, they hadn't earned the extra space yet, but regardless they were having their own little after party. Limited space meant it was perfectly acceptable that Gabe was pressed up against Ryland as he swayed slightly. Everyone was pretty trashed and prone to doing stupid things. Nate had scrounged up a bottle of champagne and popped it open, spraying it all over the bus while the rest of the band cheered. Now they were all soaked, and Gabe was suppressing the urge to lick the champagne off of Ryland's neck. Which was wildly inappropriate. They hadn't known each other for very long, but they clicked instantly. And with the things Ryland contributed to the band, Gabe knew they were going to be unstoppable. He watched Ryland through hazy eyes as the guitarist took a drink of the champagne that was being passed around. When Gabe fell for someone, he fell hard. In his drunken mind, he knew his feelings would only grow and make things messy, but at times like this, he couldn't bring himself to care very much. He had to let Ryland know how much he appreciated him. But Gabe's drunk mind was more coordinated than his drunk mouth.

"Rylamb... Ryland... You know," Gabe slurred and put his hand on the taller man's shoulder. "You are... you're the reason this band is gonna make it, y'know? You're just... So good, man. You are." Gabe leaned in closer so Ryland would understand how serious he was being. Ryland was looking at him, amused at how candid he was. He wasn't as drunk as Gabe, but he was holding his gaze, giving Gabe all the time to stutter out what he was trying to convey.

"You're just good n' pure... S'why I love you, man." Gabe grinned lopsidedly and patted Ryland's cheek with one hand as he grabbed for the champagne with his other. He knocked it back before Ryland could even reply.

The next thing Gabe remembered was waking up on the floor between the bunks feeling sticky and cradling an empty bottle of champagne. The memories of the night before were hazy and vague, but apparently the rest of the band had trouble recalling what happened, too. And maybe it was in Gabe's imagination, but it felt like Ryland's eyes were following him more closely.

2.

It was late. Or early, Gabe doesn't remember. He'd been cooped up in the studio for what seemed like an eternity working on the new album. It was just Ryland and him now; everyone else gave up for the night, but Ryland was just as determined as he was to finish this goddamn song. They had been stuck on it for hours and nothing he did seemed to make it right. He had to make it work. As the leader of the band, he felt it was necessary to be able to prove that he knew what he was doing. So many people just pegged him as a pretty face who coasted on the abilities of others. He was ambitious as hell, but he felt like it wasn't enough. He paced the room, Red Bull pumping through his veins. He was sure Ryland was pissed at having to stay so late, but Gabe made sure to let him know he didn't have to stay. But he did anyway, and Gabe was thankful for the company. Ryland seemed to understand why it was so important to Gabe that they finish the song. They spent the night bouncing ideas off of each other, both trying different things, and maybe dicking around a little on the side. Gabe was sleep deprived and stressed out but he felt his mind wander as he watched Ryland take another shot at mixing the song. Ryland made him feel at ease even at the most pressing times. His calm voice and demeanor made the tension melt from Gabe's shoulders, like Gabe was a wild beast and Ryland had an affinity with animals. Wow, that was gay, Saporta.

Gabe was snapped out of his daydreaming when Ryland suddenly shoved his headphones into Gabe's hands.

"What do you think about this? I think it could work..." Ryland played the track back for Gabe as he anxiously watched the singer's face for approval. Gabe's eyes widened and he grinned at the guitarist, jumping up from his seat. He grabbed Ryland's face and planted a wet kiss on his cheek.

"Holy shit, dude! I think I love you!" Gabe was so tired, he didn't even realize the words had slipped out. But Ryland just smiled, relieved that Gabe was happy with the song at last. They wrapped up as quickly as they could and ended up crashing on the couch in the studio, Ryland slouching on one end with his head leaned back and Gabe sprawled out with his head in Ryland's lap. Gabe doesn't remember passing out, but when he woke hours later, he had the couch to himself and a mug of steaming coffee on the table next to him.

3.

They were scheduled to do a Q&A stream with the fans, but Vicky was doing a shoot and Nate was recording his track with Alex. So it was just Ryland and Gabe this time. These things were always the same, but they were always fun to do. Gabe loved interacting with the fans, but they always asked the same questions, so it wasn't really a difficult thing to do. What's their favorite song to perform, when's the new album coming out, who snores the worst, and so on. Gabe liked doing the streams with Ryland, though. He'd always pick up on Gabe's jokes without needing any cues. Gabe supposed that was the theatrical training in Ryland. The only issue with doing live streams was that Gabe had to be conscious of how often he stared at Ryland or how close he was sitting. And of course there was the inevitable question of which bandmate they would sleep with if given a choice. These types of questions never threw Gabe off but he still worried that he was a little too transparent.

"Ooh, that's a tough choice, since every Cobra has so much to offer." Ryland pretended to muse and stroked his chin thoughtfully, casting a sideways glance at Gabe.

"I think I'd choose Nate. Dude's small but he's got these strong drummer arms." Gabe winked at the camera.

"Really? Wow, I'm sitting right here, Gabe." Ryland crossed his arms and pouted.

"Oh, baby boo, don't be like that. I was only playin'." Gabe put his arm around Ryland's shoulders and pulled him into a half hug. "You know I love you. Of course I'd choose you." Gabe thought he saw Ryland's cheeks tint pink, which made him smile wide.

"In that case, I would choose you, too, Gabriel." Ryland smiled back and put his arm around Gabe. The singer's heart thudded in his chest, and he forced himself to turn back to the computer screen.

"Okay, next question--"

4.

Gabe was a fucking wreck. It had only been a few days since his phone call with Bianca that ended with them breaking up and Gabe breaking a window on the bus by chucking his phone at it. Maybe a little dramatic, but Gabe was all about drama apparently. She said he was destructive and that she couldn't be around to bail him out anymore. So Gabe was going to be destructive and she wouldn't have to see it anymore. He partied more, saying he was finally a free man, no old lady at home to hold him back. Of course he didn't mean any of it, though. He wanted to drown himself in rum and coke. His friends were worried. They should be. He couldn't make it through a rehearsal or show without a drink or three in him. And he couldn't take their worried stares, especially the icy blue one that belonged to a certain guitarist. His stung the most. It made Gabe crumble inside. So he kept drinking to make those eyes blurry and they didn't hurt as much.

He was in a club. Or at least he thought so. He was stumbling through a crowd of people, trying to find a way out. It was too hot and loud, he felt dizzy. He just needed some air, but the wall of people around him couldn't hear him, wouldn't move out of his way. He felt his knees buckle, he was sure he was going to die on the filthy floor of this shitty club. But then he felt a pair of strong hands on his shoulders, heard a familiar voice call his name. He saw those blue eyes again, and they were so close, they were in focus again. Gabe tried to smile and say he was fine, this is where he'll live and die. Maybe they'll put his grave on the dance floor, and they can all dance on his grave because they were right and he was stupid. He slumped onto old Blue Eyes, not able to stand on his own anymore. He felt himself being dragged outside, the cold air hitting him like a train. He could suddenly breathe again. His vision was starting to clear. He was aware that they were in a parking lot now, far away from the shitty club and the dumb people in it. He was one of those dumb people just a minute ago. But now he was out. Blue Eyes leaned him against the side of their bus, he was holding Gabe's face, inspecting him with those blue eyes of his. He was talking. He looked mad and scared. He was saying words like "you idiot" and "please come back to me" and "I should punch you for this". Gabe just smiled at him, trying to show he was okay, but that only worried Blue Eyes even more. He tried to make his mouth form the words to make everything better.

"This is why I love you." Gabe slurred.

"Yeah well you got a fucked up way of showing it, Saporta." That was the last thing he remembered before he puked on himself and the world went dark.

He woke the next day in on the couch in the back lounge, his head threatening to split open. He was wearing someone else's clothes, a familiar pink shirt and yellow cartoon character pajama pants. His throat felt raw and his mouth tasted acidic. Across the lounge, he saw Ryland asleep with his brow furrowed.

5.

It was only two weeks after their tour ended. Gabe had been home but he still felt homesick. The band needed a break, though. But Gabe was bored and lonely and he didn't know what to do with himself. He was so used to being in close quarters with the others. His bed at home was too big and soft, the halls too wide and empty. He resisted calling anyone, didn't want to ruin their downtime, but he missed his crew. Like the powers that be had read his mind, his phone buzzed and blinked to life. It was Ryland texting him.

_how long til we tour again im bored_

Gabe laughed to himself and slid his phone open to reply.

_me 2 this is balls i haven't heard from anyone in 2 weeks. must be enjoying the break_

_hey im in town wanna hang?_

_only if u bring a pizza over_

_wow and they say you're a cheap date_

_love u ;*_

Gabe smiled. He hadn't done anything social in days. He felt a little silly but he wanted to make sure he looked good for Ryland. He paused in the middle of pulling a shirt on. Why was he nervous? This wasn't a date. Was it? No, of course not. Even though he said the word date. But that doesn't mean... Gabe shook his head. They were just bros. Bandmates. Crew. They had a lot of history and they were close but that didn't really mean anything, right? Gabe scrubbed his face exasperatedly. He didn't have time to dwell on it because there was a knock at his door. He pulled it open and saw a familiar tall figure carrying two big pizza boxes.

"I also got a couple of crappy movies." Ryland smiled at him.

"You must want me to put out tonight." Gabe grinned back

+1

It had been two years since the band had been together. Gabe finally felt at home. They were making new music again, recording, rehearsing. Soon they'd be able to announce the new album, start touring again. Gabe had been ready since the last tour ended. Everyone had been doing their own thing during the break. Gabe was a little nervous about getting back together. He worried that everyone had changed except for him. He had worked really hard to grow up and he didn't think he was the same scrawny punk who drank his feelings. He hoped his crew thought so too.

They were throwing a party at Gabe's place to celebrate their reunion. Somehow it turned into a blowout, friends of friends who didn't even know the band showed up. Gabe was playing the role of host so he was holding back. He only had one drink in him, enough to feel warm and fuzzy but not enough to impede his speech. He wandered from room to room, making sure everyone was enjoying themselves, topping off people's drinks. Definitely not avoiding anyone. He was a grown up now and grown ups don't hide from people. The truth was he had been feeling weird since the band reunited, or at least since he saw Ryland after months of being apart. That was one thing Gabe hoped he would have grown out of, but his heart skipped a beat when he saw what Ryland had grown into. Gabe swore he had changed and that whatever they did back then was just a crush that he should have gotten over. But it didn't go away, and it made him afraid that maybe he hadn't changed at all.

Using host duties as an excuse not to linger anywhere for too long only worked for a while. The party died down and people were crashing or heading home. Alex and Nate were sprawled out in front of the fireplace. Vicky passed out on the pool table. Ryland was conscious unfortunately. Gabe was cleaning up the kitchen when the guitarist snuck up on him.

"Need any help?" He watched amusedly as Gabe struggled to put a bottle of rum on a high shelf. Gabe jumped and nearly dropped it. He huffed at Ryland for startling him.

"You're only like two inches taller than me." Gabe pouted indignantly. Ryland laughed and took the bottle from him, taking a swig from it.

"I haven't seen you all night," Ryland looked down, swishing the rum around its bottle idly. Gabe leaned against the counter and fidgeted with his hands.

"Sorry 'bout that, guess I was just busy entertaining, ya know?" Gabe laughed nervously. He didn't think Ryland was buying it. He always saw right through Gabe's bullshit.

"Thought maybe you didn't like me anymore." Ryland smiled at Gabe, but it didn't reach his eyes. Gabe felt like shit. Screw being an adult. It wasn't worth being a terrible friend.

"Please, you know I love you." Gabe scoffed playfully, hoping Ryland wouldn't notice how much truth was behind that statement.

Ryland put the bottle down and suddenly he was closing in on Gabe, pressing him back into the counter. Gabe was immensely aware of how close the guitarist was. He could smell the liquor on his breath, the cologne on his skin. Those blue eyes were hazy but focused and intense and trained on his. Ryland's hand came up to cup Gabe's jaw gently.

"I do. I know," Ryland murmured before kissing Gabe softly. Gabe's mind reeled, he swore he must be drunk and imagining this. All he could do was hold onto the taller man, trying to pull him impossibly closer. When they parted breathlessly, Ryland stroked Gabe's cheek and smiled.

"I love you, too, ya know."

Gabe's heart swelled and he couldn't suppress the grin on his face. He nodded.

"I think I've known for a while."


End file.
